Becoming the Stream

Soul heartedly

If you’re afraid, do not fear. You are not alone.

Everyone’s afraid of something. Everyone’s afraid of words. Everyone’s afraid of love. Everyone’s afraid of success. Everyone’s afraid of truth. Everyone’s afraid of rejection. Everyone’s afraid to dream. (Well, maybe not everyone is afraid to dream, although it is a terrifying concept). And it’s really hard to keep moving forward pursuing your deeepest desires when we dwell within such a fearful mindset. It’s really easy to “go with the flow” and try to forget about your fears and remain in a place of stagnancy, stuck on a stone in the river with water cascading past you, without you.

And there you remain plastered to an ancient, cold, lonely stone… growing mold and trying to tell yourself you’re at peace with your mind and your heart. Well, this is a great place to be. Sometimes it’s the only place to be, because moving forward with or without the fear might disrupt your comfort zone and cause so much anxiety that you could die. You don’t consider the option that you could become the stream, that you are the stream and always have been the stream.

Be aware. Be aware that anxiety is not your own– that possibly anxiety exists in everyone because we are all human (except a select few coming from distant galaxies reincarnated in human form, of course– but even they have to learn to overcome fear), and this is the reason we’re all in a lonely place of fear and rejection and not extending our power into the Earthy realms nor the ether! And perhaps our personal fears are reflected into worldly fears (politics, weather, wars, etc)…

However, this is not a story in which words are the answer. This is a story of acceptance and understanding that if you feel you’ve done all you can do, maybe you have. Then ask yourself, is this something you can really live without? Is this something you CAN find in another form? If the answer to either of these is yes, then leave the situation behind to be recycled into something even better.

Sometimes we don’t overcome our fears in time, but this is only because we must learn from our fears. We must recognize the growth process around such fears, bringing us into a new state of confidence and courage. From this place, we CAN move forward and overcome anything we want to overcome in order to be wherever, whoever we want to be. The good thing is that if we don’t die of our anxieties, whether we face our fears or not, we are inevitably guided towards a better place in our lives to which eventually, fear of a certain situation will literally evaporate and we will have a magical revelation of the truth.

Sometimes there are mistakes we make, and sometimes we talk ourselves into the extreme of saying, “There are no mistakes so I must be in the right place at the right time, and I must be doing the right thing by following my fears instead of leaping outside my corner of the forest and into the vast ocean of bravery and freedom.

This is also a story of utilizing our innate powers of intuition and following the signs that lead us on, even if we are rejected, even if we don’t receive the outcome we desire. Because the signs are only trying to push us outside our comfort zones and teach us that it is possible to do something we never thought we’d be bold enough to do, because it “just isn’t who we are” to be brave or to be courageous or to act out of love for acknowledgement of self.

We DO have the authority and the capability to take actions towards our truths because we are more than our fears. Even if something we believe in doesn’t matter to anyone else, we must still believe in it because it matters to us. And we have helpers to help us along the way.

Some things you might try to overcome anxieties and begin living your new, fearless, courageous, beautiful life:

  1. Forgive yourself and express gratitude towards those who have hurt you.
  2. Learn about Flower Essences. These can create shifts in something specific you may be overwhelmed with. Flower spirits are close allies.
    1. Red Chestnut~ allows you to love without fear and recognize how your fear affects not only you, but others. (When I began taking this, I was overcome with a sudden slap in the face of how extremely I was causing a disturbance of natural factors by telling myself I was too afraid. After freaking out for a bit, I was sent into a state of clarity and realization of the steps I needed to take to move forward.)
    2. Willow~ denotes some of the anxiety you might feel when it is difficult to move forward.
    3. Mimulus~ an aid in encouragement which pushes you to do things you feel otherwise might be impossible.
  3. Drink more water. Dehydration may be one factor of irrational fears, or so I’ve been guided to say.
  4. Soak in a hot springs as often as possible, or take salt/mineral infused baths.
  5. Omega-3 supplements
  6. Vitamin D + SUN to brighten your perspective
  7. Earthing- aka allowing the Earth to absorb your worries as you lay on the ground or walk barefoot
  8. Trust the process.
  9. EFT Tapping.

Still, you must know that you are strong enough to speak the truth of your heart to others, to do what you believe in, to stand up for yourself– to express yourself in any necessary way– in exactly the condition you are. You have the power and the right to do these things despite your fears, anxieties, sinus problems that cause speech problems, dialect, accent, mental fog… despite your insecurities, the perception that you’re overweight, that your face is too red or too dry to talk to anyone today, despite your chronic sinus congestion, your oily hair, the fact that your feet hurt, that you don’t feel free because you’re deprived of the sun… despite your age, the color of your hair, your height, and any other weaknesses.

You still have the right to do whatever you want, wherever you are and however are you currently, because nobody requires you to be perfect. We all know that when we have a seemingly perfect day, we can count on something to go wrong the next. Yet we find beauty in it. We find a way to move forward and believe in ourselves because we matter. We are matter, after all, and nothing is out of place. We have our own beliefs and ideas for a reason. All we have to know is how to trust the process.

® Camille Garcia, 2017

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To the Lonely Artist

creativity

 

The entire Universe is being so unresponsive. You’re usually such a synchronicity magnet; everything generally falls into place at exactly the right time. You’re always bumping into your favorite people constantly, and you haven’t encountered a familiar soul in three whole days.

You can’t find solace anywhere; your friends have suddenly made plans the rest of the year. They don’t have time for you. But then they’re not really your friends, are they? You don’t have any friends—remember? You’re completely alone.

What’s wrong with you?

It’s probably because you need to lose at least fifteen pounds ASAP. Soon as in this week, otherwise you’re out of luck. Obviously, the only effective way to do this is to juice garlic and lime for seven days and drink green tea at every manageable hour. And you’ll have to fast—you mustn’t eat anything while you’re on this juice cleanse. You might find yourself regurgitating the first few days, but don’t worry about it; you’ll become accustomed soon enough.

But wait. Now you’ve lost fifteen pounds… and nobody has noticed! You’re still just as alone as you were yesterday and the week before, and the week before that!

Again, what’s wrong with you?

 

After experiencing all these symptoms of Artist’s Loneliness, I can personally tell you exactly what’s wrong with you.

Your friends aren’t being unresponsive because they don’t have time. They’re being unresponsive because YOU don’t have time.

It’s not that you don’t have good intentions. Your intentions are totally pure of heart, after all.

The thing is: you expect praise when you have no work to show for it. You haven’t really worked at your soul craft all month. How can you expect any creative magic to come across your path when you haven’t given it a reason to?

You didn’t even do the dishes this morning because you were obsessed with running into serendipity. You forgot to shower and rode your bike right out the door, forgetting there were eight steps in front of you.

You crashed.

The first thing you must do as soon as you get up on your feet is: the dishes. But maybe you’re not lying in a heap at the bottom of the steps. Chances are, you’re lying stiff in bed, alone. Same concept. The sun is trying it’s best at peeking through the slots in your closed blinds, and you think this is the most obnoxious sight you’ve ever seen.

In this case, prioritize opening all the blinds immediately.

Now, you’re overcome with an intense craving for coffee with lots of added syrups and sugar, even though you’re very sensitive to caffeine and sugar and you are clearly aware of how this will inhibit your creativity, directly blocking your first and second chakras.

You would crash, later in the day. So, same concept.

These distractions are so tempting. This is where lime and garlic juice comes in—just make sure not to drink this concoction on an empty stomach. If you’re too drowsy to fathom piecing together the juicer on this already-late morning, maybe you’ll have the resilience to unlock the doorknob and step outside.

Take a deep inhalation of (hopefully) fresh air. Nature will revitalize your motivation and begin cleansing your airways. Absorb the sunshine. Think to yourself all the things you intended to do yesterday. What about the tasks you failed to complete last week? Last month? Last year?

Are those “goals” still engraved in your mind? What have you been waiting for all this time—an angel sent from heaven to do all the work for you? Yeah, you have a list of good intentions as tall as your pile of dishes sitting in the sink. This is why you’re such a mess. No wonder you don’t have any friends.

So go for a walk. Overdose on matcha green tea. Do whatever it takes to get oxygen flowing to your brain so that you can begin your work. Wipe down the windows and begin cleaning out your cabinets.

 

You have abundance locked up in your cabinets. Literally! Look inside your deepest, darkest cabinet. I opened mine only to reveal nine bottles of herbal hair vinegars finished with their month of infusion. NINE! That’s $270 sitting in the bottommost, most forgotten depths of my kitchen.

Determine your biggest goal and your greatest fear (they’re the same thing, aren’t they?) and do what you need to do NOW. Send a letter to your favorite duo band, pleading they take you in as a worthy third member. Thing big. And if at first you don’t receive a response, move along to your second greatest goal. You will have obtained at least some confidence in taking steps towards your craziest, most irrational dreams, dissolving a bit of your irrational fears in the process.

Get to work on what it is you really want with your life. It’s your own, after all.

After you’ve crossed even just three things off your list, you’ll be getting all sorts of invitations from lost-lost friends.

Just make sure you don’t take on too many tasks at once—stay focused on your real work. Prioritize, and don’t start with the small things. Start with your greatest endeavors. Doing so will over-qualify you for the small tasks, making them appear simple.

Please take these words of advice that have distracted me from completing my real work tonight, but please don’t be like me; finish what you need to do today.

217: Signs of Spring

Numerology

February 17

I saw the first signs of Spring today.

The temperature read 34 degrees, but I didn’t believe it. The birds didn’t believe it, either. The moment I stepped out my door, their gleeful songs rang in a pitch reminiscent of Spring. Were they reminiscing, or was the new season already here? Perhaps the groundhog was mistaken.

I weaved down my wooden steps around to the front of house and was startled to spot not only one blade of green grass poking out of the frozen soil… but patches of them! When I finally stopped smiling back at those green patches, I ran back up my steps, flung the wreath of pines off my door, and pumped up my bike tires. This was not a day for a casual walk around historic downtown– this day was for road biking to the park.

I’d been dreaming about biking for the past few weeks. I’ve never dreamt of flying, but to me, biking is equivalent to flying. However, it wasn’t quite as simple today as I’d dreamed. I hadn’t straddled my bike in over four months, or so it seems, so it’s quite the miracle I remembered how to pedal. As soon as I did, I was exhausted after pumping my legs only a few blocks. I kept on pedaling uphill, and it gradually became easier. Before I knew it, I was flying again.

I walked briskly around the frozen lake and encountered a couple familiar faces along the way. I assumed they must also share a similar suspicion—that today was actually the first day of Spring. The sun wasn’t quite ready to show his face to the entire city, but we could feel him peeking around the corner. We weren’t wearing jackets or even light sweaters. Tree trunks seemed to be shedding their last layers of ice, thawing out all the way to their cores. I passed the naked thorny roses, which seemed tempted to bloom right then and there, before my gaze.

I was overcome with a surprising sense of motivation and inspiration to accomplish everything I possibly could throughout the day. However, I was still stuck in my chronic creativity-block until around eight o’clock p.m., when someone told me: “You simply can’t procrastinate anymore. Just stop it.” Just stop it. And so with those striking words of wisdom, I stopped.

I, along with the entire city, stayed up past midnight working on long-lost endeavors. I finally finished pricing and labeling my button jewelry so that I can take them to a local shop to sell. My friend, the owner of the shop, was busy busting out new psychedelic paintings. I began writing a few new songs. I researched how possible it is to start making a living off doing things I love to do—things that have purpose.

As I sleep, my dreams are filled dandelions—wildcrafting dandelions to eat and wear in my hair. My dreams take me to foreign horizons where Spring is emerging, and it is renewing. As someone said to me earlier, referring to something creativity-related, “It’s like the Dark Ages are over and we’ve entered the Enlightenment.” It must have the strong winds blowing in from the East.

Foreign Lands

Soul heartedly

https://soundcloud.com/rosmarinasol/foreign-lands

So…

Did you know I’m a singer-songwriter???

Oh, I never mentioned that? I never wrote about that, not even once? Huh. I really only have one excuse, and it’s a ridiculous one: FEAR. Fear of imperfection. Fear of rejection. Fear of SUCCESS.

This is my first attempt at recording, but my dreams are already starting to flow wild and free, all the way down to Texas. All the way east to North Carolina. All the way west to California. And of course, I’d have to go all the way north to Canada, too, since basically all of my favorite artists are native Canadians. The Be Good Tanyas, Kathleen Edwards, Frazey Ford…

What if I could open for one of my favorite artists? What if I could collaborate with some emerging artists of similar styles like Mariee Sioux, Lauren Shera, Catherine Feeny, or Laura Veirs? I’m learning something new everyday here in Cheyenne, Wyoming… I’m learning that there’s more to Planet Earth than the vast Plains. The Plains are a great place to gaze upon and wonder, and dream. They’re expansive enough to feel free, but they’re a little dry. Not to mention the 80mph gusts of wind we’ve had this week.

It’s as though the wind is bringing in energies to me from all directions, allowing my dreams to expand farther than the Plains. They’ve expanded to the Colorado mountain regions, where wildflowers spring up along fast-moving streams. They’ve expanded to the New Mexican desert, where half of my ancestry lies. They’ve expanded to oceans of every kind, although I’m a little hesitant to go there yet.

I want to bring my voice to all these places. I want to collaborate with as many great artists as possible; sing in local coffee shops, bars, venues of towns both small and large– I’m formulating a formal recording plan, and then a tour plan, hopefully all by this summer.

In the meantime, I want to bring my sound to you, you awesome writers and artists. I enjoy reading of your adventures, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading of mine. Now, I truly hope you enjoy hearing the sound of all my adventures on the Wyoming Plains.

As always, there will be more updates on my music to come as well as more writings of magic and synchronicity. You can also see proof of all my magical happenings and gigs on my Facebook page, Rosmarina Sol. (I’ll have to do another blog about how I chose this name and why I had to do it.) The basic translation, anyway, is Rosemary Sun– my two main sources of creativity.

Okay, so no more procrastination. It’s fun to write. It’s fun to record. It’s fun to share. Life can be so much more expansive than living in fear and hating the wind. EMBRACE the wind, embrace new change. FLY with the wind.